What is it like? ... to have a stroke

Dee Weston sits at his computer with his back to me, playing Cafe World. He is nervous about talking about his condition, the new world he has been forced to adapt to, but has still not quite come to terms with 3 years later.

At first glance, Dee is a formidable character. As he gets his past initial hesitations, he becomes passionate. He is a large man, with a handle bar mustache many find intimidating but he is a gentle man nonetheless, fighting a tough battle.  

"I had my stroke in March 2010, and to this day I am still trying to find a normal life" Dee's words echo in my mind. He lives in a fog, trying to make sense of his new reality. 

"I feel very confused," He says, searching for the right words. "People close to me still can't accept me the way I am"

Since leaving work, Dee's new life is pottering around his home, working in the garden or playing online games to keep his mind active. He has good days, and bad days. "Staying home is boring. It's hard and strange getting through the day"

Dee is desperate to get back to work, but the stroke has stopped him from being able to work as his left side is weak and often sore. "You have no idea how much I'd love to go back to work. I have taken so many medications to help me, but I just can't."

Dee is a first generation Australian, as his family migrated to Australia. The one part of the stroke that has taken him by surprise was that the German language came flooding back.

"I find most days I will use a German phrase without realizing" He also says his spelling has improved slightly. 

So what caused the stoke that changed his life so irrevocably?

"I was a heavy drinker, smoker and workaholic. My career in security meant I got a lot of blows to the head that also may have contributed"

The biggest change to his personality Dee feels is his mood swings. "I would have to say being angry at the drop of a hat! Definitely more short-tempered."

His speech, like many stroke victims, is still a difficulty in his life. A stutter makes it hard for him speak normally, causing a great deal of frustration. Dee describes this as the hardest part of the condition.

So, what was it like to have the stroke? "I remember I had a very bad flu. I stood up to go outside, and fell back into my chair"

When asked what advice he had for others, his answer was simple. "I just don't know; I haven't figured out the answer to that"

A.S